This was originally written on Feb 21, 2003… But due to the the age of the Writer and along with a much needed Editor Overhaul, it is only getting published now.
The majority of what is about to be said, is still applicable to this day… but there are things that a few years of mental growth have cured.
The reason why I am posting this is because I needed to find something that would help cure might writers block and this definitely opened a back window into me writing again (even though it maybe in a repetitive manor).
Well I hope the 10-15mins that you spend reading this was worth because I ain’t giving you shit back.
Enjoy or not, I know I did.
Peace Out all you Weople & Trologgers.
Life Story: Rules of thumb
There are many Rules of Thumb in life.
Let us speak of the Rule of Thumb that involves those “dealings with/of the heart.”
Again I am writing some factual information about people who have decided to share their experiences with me and in much respect to them I’ve decided to keep their anonymity by not using any names from here on out, as compared to previous installments. So let’s continue to the story at hand.
As I’ve been my usual self and being the observant one that I am, I’ve noticed that a major Rule of Thumb when dealing with the heart is to “first don’t listen to your heart ….. right away that is.”
I met someone who would always lead with his heart (everyone might know him, because he is one and the same from the last story), and it would always get him into trouble. He was always able to analyze other people’s situations; but when it came to himself he never analyzed himself and the things he was doing. And this would lead him to always getting sucked into so much trouble.
But we will wait a just one second and go off on a slight tangent, since this is in essence a continuation of the last story. For this contains the girl’s version of the last story. So let us first move forward with that.
So the young man finally acted on which option he should take and he mixed and matched all of them
together as recommended by the readers.
Initially he decided to chose option #2:
“Force himself to not like this girl anymore. Then just try to be friends with her even though he likes her and has so many different feelings for her. Feelings that he didn’t even have for the first girl he was infatuated with.”
And he really has been working on forcing himself to not like this girl anymore and has been trying to be friends but it really didn’t work out.
Then he decided to move to option #4:
Actually talk to STRIKER1 and let her know about all everything that has been going on during all of the recent events. Then tell her all the feelings he has had for her and see what happens, and hope it doesn’t affect their friendship or maybe, just maybe have that special opportunity to have a chance to spark something extremely special with STRIKER1.
And oh did he move onto option #4, since he didn’t really dwell on option #2 for too long.
So he told her everything…
Basically putting everything on the line including himself, an occurrence that he frequents far too often when it comes to his life.
After the dust settled, and he felt free and clear to whatever outcome might happen…
She came back with her own onslaught and then laid it back on him.
He showed up on the radar as an extremely flirty friend, not even considered in the “what if” category. Even his friend who he thought caused all the drama ranked higher than he did.
She then went ahead to explain the whole story to him.
What was happening was that she was still in love with her EX and she just couldn’t let go of him. She explained to him that though he did cheat on her, her EX was still given the chance to be better and given the opportunity to treat her better… but he just didn’t.
No matter what she did or what her EX did… she still harbored feelings that just don’t go away overnight (or in his situation, just because she’s not with the EX anymore doesn’t mean if you confess that she’ll jump straight into your arms and then its happily ever after). To quote her on how much she still loved her EX, “I don’t know, I know he did me wrong… but it’s just that he was the first guy in a long time since my last boyfriend that I could give my whole self too.” (There is something to be said about reaching that heightened state of feelings for someone and still be stuck… that’s for a whole other story)
So she continued and went on explaining to him that she was still “sprung over her EX and that his timing was extremely bad” (personally, I think his timing shouldn’t of come at all if you understand that).
So after each of them had said their peace and everything was left on the table… she basically put the “final nail in the coffin”, “was the winter to their seasons”, or as I see it “the final book end to their saga” by telling him (in the nicest way possible; Sugar-Coating is for losers) that “you’re just not that kind of person to me…”
So he decided that he should then move onto option #1:
Just cut his losses and move on. And basically cut her off completely from his life, so that he has the ability to function and not get hurt. (Oops, just a little too late for the latter)
Well since moving onto this option, he has been able to cope with most of his life and get back to the things he was doing that made his life normal (well things that appeared normal to him, but not most).
He has told me that she hasn’t been cut off completely, he has just set things into motion in which he’s not making any efforts to associate with her (and even I know that cutting someone out of your life is simply an option of desperation and not always the best thing to do, but I do feel for the guy).
It’s just that I see and everyone else should see also, that they just need some time apart. You know the time that is needed to think about what has happened, what has been said, and then move on in any which way they decide from there. Because ever since the moment that their worlds collided (so to speak), nothing would or could have ever been the same.
So I hope clarity was achieved as to what happened and what maybe will happen in the future.
Unfortunately this is probably the last installment on what happens between those two because I’ve lost contact with the girl and I would hate to give an unbiased outcome (but like everyone can do, we can make conjecture and infer what will happen in their respective futures).
Now back to the story at hand…… what was being discussed again?
Oh yes Rules of Thumb.
We had basically just got done with “dealings with/of the heart”, now onto something else that touches a little closer to home… at least for myself.
It is somewhat unusual that something would be happening to me, but hey with life things happen and in the most randumb manors possible.
This rule of thumb is dealing with friendships.
Friendship, now that is a very strong word and a lot of people take it for granted.
I am one of those people who tends to take all his friendships for granted. To the point that I begin to lose them due to uncontrolled circumstances(or were they all controlled circumstances).
So how about I just get straight into the story. I have these really close friends (as in really close friends that out of most people understands the inner workings of my mind) and lately we’ve all grown apart
from each other and it has been really hard.
So here goes the situation, they’re in college and I decided not to go and now they’re in a fraternity and I am not. And this is where it really gets juicy, I find myself losing some of the closest people in my life, just because we’re growing apart and I know I can only burden them with my presence for so long.
The above doesn’t quite making sense but oh well. It’s just so hard for one to cope with all of the things going on life and not be able to have his “buds” to take off some of the pressure. Before the whole fraternity it was hard for us to be separated aside from our daily lives and the things we had to do, but now with work overflowing and them simply having their own things, it’s just that one can get lost in the mix and not know what they are doing.
And it is clearly understood that there is still a small child in me (well in all of us really)… small enough to realize that it is still really, really hard to know that were all growing up and moving on in our lives. It’s not like I’m losing them, but it just feels that way because we all just have our own thing. But what I’m really trying to say is that a good rule of thumb when it comes to friendships, is that you need to know that no matter they’ll still be there for you.
Now for a little more JR-Time (as if everything wasn’t just coming from him anyways), no Rules of Thumb here (well maybe you’re just going to have to find them for yourself). JR or myself or both, are finding ourselves (really just himself) on the brink of a crossroad at an edge of a decision to what might be going on.
I was accepted to the University of Washington and I’m pretty intent on not enrolling… instead a decision has been made to pack up everything I own (or everything that is mobile) and move down to California.
I know that I’m going to be leaving everything that I know… my friends, my work, and especially the groove of a life that I have created. This is truly going to be an experience of starting fresh in a new place (San Francisco) and what feels likes almost being at 0,0,0,0,0 (yes that’s right all the way to the 5th dimension).
A part of me (at least 70%) is somewhat excited to get a fresh start. I mean the life I had made here in Washington is comfortable, but with the ease of comfort comes the decline in progress. I’m not trying to say that my friends and the things I have accomplished here is nothing. I guess it’s just that there is nothing left for me to do here.
I’ve only finally realized that I am actually an adult capable of making my own decisions without having to stress about what other people think. But I was never a person who really cared about what people said or thought about me, except for those moments of weakness when I left my defenses down for those dam girls. Oh well, enough of the hiding right? I thought so. The last story was a personal experience written in a biographical way, just for my own personal benefit.
In all honesty, I have stopped caring about what people may think about certain things I publish, because I find that it is a great opportunity for me to release things that I otherwise couldn’t ever say.
So this is the only forum, that can be truly unadulterated and almost completely unfiltered, to tell people the things that need to be heard (even if they fall on deaf ears).
And now a little chance to tell peoples some things:
Chris-
[REDACTED SECTION]
Nick-
[REDACTED SECTION]
Brian-
[REDACTED SECTION]
To the new chicks
Ro-
[REDACTED SECTION]
Steph-
[REDACTED SECTION]
JUNE-
Wow some kind of story this turned out to be, honestly I don’t know what the hell to tell you JUNE. Here let me start out like this, you captured me in a way that no one has yet (and see you didn’t even have to try). I care about you so much and I honestly don’t want to but I can’t help myself, there is just
so much I look for in a girl and I find it in you. And yes I do know your heart lies* with another guy, but you seem to have a piece of mine (just a very tiny piece). I don’t think I can ever stop liking you JUNE, but as for right now I just think you need to sort out what you need to sort out and I need to do
the same. So what I’m really trying to say is that I’m not cutting you out of my life I’m taking a break from you so that I can figure out my life. And I know just like what happened before with me, we’ll be really good friends down the line but as for right now it’s just not the best opportunity for the
either of us. I’m sorry again for the bad timing (or for even telling you about how I felt), but as I do apologize I don’t regret it because like I said I’m not a person who lives with regret (because every experience whether good, bad, hurtful, helpful is always a learning experience). So June, I guess what I’m really getting at is that this is GOOD BYE for now. And I know I’m saying GOOD BYE for now, but JUNE you know that if you ever needed anything, that you could always turn to me. I will be there for you no matter what, shoot I’m not heartless (quite yet).
So peoples I’m guessing this concludes most of the story but not quite finished yet with this Epic Journey we are all on.
And just so we can put a little bit of closer to everything that has been written…
One more, good Rule of Thumb: Life is Too Short to Regret Anything & Especially to Not Say Anything.
So I guess that’s it for now, until next time Just Live Life as Life Lives You.
Posted via email from JR’s ranDumb-ous
