I hope someone would understand the title.
So lately I have been extremely caught up with work and surprisingly enough work has been a stressful type of fun… you know the fun that you just can’t away from.
So it’s that darn time ago to take stock in one’s own life….. hahaha SIKE!
I have been wanting to blog on the fact that since this dam LA Nina weather, all its been is storms, thunder, lighting and since I am working in the Philippines, humid as hell. There has been this sick side of me ever since the start of these dam weather patterns, I have been thinking a lot about lightning. The fact that during a lightning storm touches down only a few kilometers away is somewhat exciting.
I was just thinking if I were to die by the cause of mother nature, I would like to be struck down by lightning. Because really it’s a 33% chance I’ll die / 33% chance I could turn into powder / (here comes the optimism) 34% that nothing could happen… I bet most of you who might chance on reading this are just thinking why would he be thinking about such things. Well to answer that question, I’ve always been interested in lightning and what it could actually do to you. Like what if I had the same powers as powder or if I could control shit with my mind… I know for a fact that if I could only increase the ability to not be so sedentary at times then I could actually maximize the storage capacity of my brain, because I do have an enormous bank of ridiculous knowledge.
Well what else can I talk about, well I have finally stop playing games with girls, I have gone back to the days of when I had no censorship module installed… like I hate to say it but being who I am (background attitude etc) its very easy to influence local girls and to give them hope (by hope … they feel that they are in love with you), but I find that its becoming an issue of stalkerism (my word, at least I hope it is).. so lately I have just been blunt to almost everyone except for perspective clients who would like to give me lots of money (but that’s a whole other blog entry in itself). So there were 2 girls from the recent past that I thought contact had ended… but turned around late night called and texted saying I miss you and all this other crap (the best part of this is that the 2 girls decided to contact me on the same night) I gave them the following speech:
I thought we had a clear understanding on how things ended, we both agreed that this wasn’t really going anywhere and you felt that I couldn’t give you the attention that you wanted. I really feel now that things have not changed since we parted ways and the fact that you cant find a decent guy isn’t really my fault, because I know I may have not been the “IDEAL” guy, I knew I could always bring a smile to your face and show you a good time, but the good times just done ran out. And really it’s YOU and not Me and this conservation is done… hopefully you learned your lesson and maybe next time you wont call someone in the middle of the night because your jonesing. Night.
I pretty much gave that speech twice in a span of about 15mins then proceeded to feel a hint of guilt about the way I acted, but when a relationship dulls and the girl tells you that you cant give her the attention that she wants, then for me that means its time to move on… I mean don’t get me wrong I am in search of a girl (but every girl that I have a triste with doesn’t seem to fall into the personality traits that I am looking for, but more on the fact that they are seen as prey and they are easy on the eyes and cause jealously amongst the other wolves of the pack). I really need to ask myself what am I looking for, I mean do I need another accessory that might give me an allergic reaction or do I try to find substance… I know its shallow of me to talk like this (and by no means do I find myself to be god’s gift to women / more like satan’s unpleasant surprise) but its just so many games… I actually find myself intimidated by girls that I find myself attracted to their personality than the way they look (so intimidated to the point I think I actually try toooooo hard) I mean I cant really find that girl that is interested in the same things that I am interested in. Why cant I just run into a girl who can throw back a few drinks and not be sloshed, play video games, loves TV (if you’ve read any other of my posts you’ll know that I love me some TV), I don’t know just the little things that simply overcome the big things. And I know this is going to sound very cliché but every girl I find that satisfies the intellectual prowess that I am looking for already as a weirdo of a boyfriend, being that most of the time that I get along with their boyfriends makes it even harder for me to throw down the evil gauntlet and try to wisk her away.
Lets close this part of the entry off now.
What else can we talk about (the reason why I am really updating is because I have been meaning to do so but I also don’t have that much work to do today, so it leaves time to do something to escape reality.
The whole fitness thing with the involvement of my life has been sporadic to say the least, but I have been pretty good for the last 2 days (even though the 2 weeks prior I have been in a complete vegetative state [well that's how work makes me feel])
Okay writers block. Done and I’m out.
